I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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