see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
