I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
