what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
