Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
