god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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