that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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