make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
