This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
