My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize