i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize