Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
