nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
