bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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