my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
