There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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