How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Randomize
