I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
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Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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