Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
