the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
