She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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