She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
