hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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