he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
