just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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