I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
