normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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