im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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