Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
