Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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