And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
