I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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