There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She bit a glass in half.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Randomize
