these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
