Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
