Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
