Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
