Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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