I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
