So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
