I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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