Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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