my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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