Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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