so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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