Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
