i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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