I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
