direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
