He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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