Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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