naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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