its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
