with your own penis?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
