my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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