I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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