You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
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I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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