well most of my day revolves around power hour
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize