u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
