Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
