i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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