I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
