I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Farmville is her only friend.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
