OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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