Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
