He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
