Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
nutella sex= disaster
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
